What to wear to a Christmas party if you hate
Making small talk
The weather, the traffic, Ocado delivery slots, Strictly: the well-worn paths of party chat can get a little hard going at this time of year. But master the art of Conversation Dressing and you’ll never again be short of small talk.
A little black dress and gold studs is all very well, but you’re not giving your fellow guests much to get their teeth into repartee-wise. I am a longtime devotee of a novelty accessory, myself. Naff? Me? Well, possibly, but ever since I saw Miuccia Prada with miniature plastic bananas dangling from each lobe, I am entirely without shame. Earrings are a good place to start: I have an enormous Dolce & Gabbana pair of glitzed up farfalle pasta shapes, a tiny duo of owls made from feathers that I bought in Accessorize, and tiny Eiffel Towers bought for a couple of euros years ago from a tourist stall on the Rue de Rivoli, which I have worn a lot in recent weeks. All have rescued me from weather chat more than once.
My alternative is a silly clutch bag. My logic here is that clutch bags are, by their very nature, silly – ludicrous, dolly-sized things we carry when we’re on evenings off from real life. So a silly clutch bag is a sensible investment, really. Edie Parker’s are chic as well as silly, but Anya Hindmarch does them best. (Who can forget the key role her crisp-packet bag played in a lift with Solange and Jay Z?) This season’s Kit Kat bag isn’t cheap, mind – but it will buy you hours of small talk for ever more.
Whether they’re bitchy or boring, being stuck at a party with workmates you can’t bear is an all-too-common nightmare before Christmas – but choosing the right outfit can help.
You have two options: dress to dazzle or dress for escape. For the first, you want to find the most alpha outfit possible without veering into barmy fashion territory (to quote the fierce Della Garry in Channel 4’s Raised by Wolves: “Do not ever give them a prop”). A good bet would be something shoulder-flashing (otherwise known, appropriately enough, as a cold-shoulder top) or a hint of velvet – like these platform shoes or this jumpsuit – worn with high heels and a defiant hint of winter toe. In other words, set yourself apart from the sea of sequinned dresses and enjoy the sweet revenge as the begrudging compliments roll in all night.
If “pretending to be fabulous and cheerful” isn’t your thing, try becoming the sartorial equivalent of a shadow in black skinny jeans, an oversized black jumper and little black boots. Smile at your boss on arrival, ensuring your presence is registered, and as soon as they are no longer looking, run.
The whole ‘Christmas look’
The trad aesthetic of Christmas – red, green, white and loaded with tinsel – does not naturally segue into everyone’s wardrobes. It certainly doesn’t in mine – nothing says yuletide joy quite unlike a navy ribbed polo-neck, does it? This can make Christmas parties, when the sartorial ambition tends towards kitsch, a tad tricky. In an ideal world fashion humbugs would be able to rise above season dressing and take a wholly lateral approach. But showcasing the really nice things about Christmas – the sound of a champagne cork popping before lunch or the acceptable length of TV watching – is hard to do with clothes. Even the majestic Le Labo Pin 12 scent is only made as a room fragrance not a perfume. No, if you really hate the aesthetic of Christmas, you have to beat it at its own game. You need to happen upon something that feels a bit jolly and Christmassy and subvert it to look ultra fashion.
This year, my inner wardrobe humbug was inspired by the Loewe catwalk – a place where only good things can happen fashion wise. Designer Jonathan Anderson showed what can only be described as upcycled tinsel earrings. How hard can this be to recreate with a small gold hoop and a little shredded tinsel. “How jolly” they’ll say; “How Loewe does it look?” you’ll think. OK, it’s a little convoluted but the alternatives – dressing like Mariah Carey or wearing a Christmas jumper with a grimace – are too tragic to contemplate.
What with restaurants without reservations and H&M collaborations, queuing has quite the cache these days. But I think we can agree that the cloakroom queue is a bore for all concerned, especially when it’s the end of the evening and you’re in danger of missing the last tube. The way to avoid having to think about such things when you would rather discuss the misbehaviour of a colleague, is to wear – or at least bring – a jacket that works as part of your outfit, and is light enough so it can be slung across the back of a chair. This could be anything from an embellished bomber (I like this one from Needle & Thread) to that Elle MacPherson-approved warm-but-glamorous classic, the faux-fur gilet. Keep it on, or pick it up at the end of the night and walk straight out the bar. Warning: try not to smirk when walking past the cloakroom queue.
Paying for taxis
I love taxis because I’m afraid of the dark. I don’t think I’m alone in this. London is terrifying and wide. The inconvenient twist is that taxis hate me – check me and my 4.3 Uber rating ;-) (I have a difficult address). Luckily, I’m also a good walker, and I often carry a small torch in my pocket. If this sounds familiar, it’s worth remembering you don’t actually have to wear heels to a party. I don’t really wear proper heels because proper heels are absurd.
Firstly, avoid anything as lame as ballet pumps. Ditto those roll-up banana shoes which you keep in your bag and that were popular for about nine days. Instead try something like these from Kenzo which, sure, look a bit wacky, but are 3D logo’d (!!) and lined with shearling (despite being espadrilles). I’d probably wear them under a wide-legged jumpsuit. You can’t go wrong with boxfresh Stan Smiths, either, or even a pair of Dr Marten’s which sound a bit “fun mum” on paper, unless you get patent ones and suddenly you’re a bit fetishy. Wear with tights or thick socks. The latter will shave at least five years off you because you look as if you’re still at school. Then, chances are, someone might even take pity on you and offer to share their cab with you, hopefully in a non-creepy way.
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MEN: WHAT TO WEAR TO NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY?
I’m either a workaholic with a fashion-obsession-tendency or I’ve missed home and work a little bit too much, but frankly I couldn’t wait to get back to my writing. Another thing I did this past week was spend A LOT of time thinking about New Year’s Eve party outfits.
The outcome? More ideas without any actual picked outfit yet, AND one more question to wonder about: DO MEN GO THROUGH THE SAME FASHION OUTFITS ORDEAL FOR NYE PARTY?
And if so… why shouldn’t we be the ones to give ’em a hand you know. Okay, the last thing I’ll ever be is a men’s stylist, BUUUT I know a good looking man when I see one. And, as much as I’d like to say appearance counts less, well… my dearest boys, STYLE, let’s read that again, STYLE, is one motherfucker you have to own. Or perfect throughout time.
Style does actually matter, and it has nothing to do with what you actually wear, but more with how you wear it, knowing your assets, your best looks, what fits and what doesn’t, from a plain ol’ tee to your hair, beard, or accessories.
So let’s divide and conquer then: What Should Men Wear On NYE Party?
The most important thing is to dress according to the event and the venue. Where you’re actually going has more of an importance than anything else, and can save your fabulous ass from quite a few fashion faux-pas.
For example if you’ll be spending NYE night at a cabin in the mountains with friends, I think you just may be too dressed up in your black tuxedo.
And viceversa: if you’ll be attending a black tie event, as hot as I’m sure you look in your white tee and leather jacket, or your Rudolf the reindeer sweater… you might wanna reconsider.
And then there are the rest of the NYE parties happening around town, where every girl is probably wearing a dress and heels and every guy is in a shirt.
Easier said than done. Yet there are a few go-to outfits for you boys that can work in any fancy-cool-casual-slightly-dressy situation.
- THE WHITE SHIRT
The classic shirt is having a MAJOR comeback for men, and all I can say is Hallelujah! I mean seriously nothing beats a gorgeous man in a well fitted white shirt.
With or without a tie or bow tie, with a blazer or cardigan over, worn with suit-trousers or jeans, sleeves rolled up, or not, all buttoned up or 2 buttons left undone – it looks fucking hot.
Shoes wise. Whatever floats your boat. Personally I love Chelsea boots and sneakers.
- TUXEDO OR SUIT
If it’s a black tie, or you think you can pull it off, do it! After all… it’s better to be over-dressed than under-dressed.
- CASUAL COOL
If where you’re going it’s more about the fun, the friends, the music (think clubs, bars, homes etc.) then you’ll look great even in a plain T-shirt IF you know how to pull it off.
A statement T-shirt (leather, graphic, message) looks cool with a pair of jeans and trendy shoes.
A great shirt with rolled up sleeves, all buttoned up paired with suit trousers or jeans looks very laid back and sexy.
A leather jacket over anything will make you look like a rock-star.
It’s all about personal style and great combos, so get more inspo and let your fashion imagination run wild.
If you’re still wondering about what to wear, you’ve got 3 safe ways to go: 1) All-black. 2) White shirt & jeans. 3) Your go-to dressy outfit.
Or… you could of course show up in your birthday suit. I’m sure it’s a lot easier. All you need is a six pack. And swag. You need a lot of swag. Actually screw the six pack. Swag is all you need.Đăng bởi Tố Uyên Tags: casual cool, Christmas party, Party Fashion, suit, tuxedo, White shirt